GET-YOUR-EX-BACK

What does it mean when your ex-girlfriend still calls after she breaks up with you?

My ex broke it off with me not too long ago and she calls me ever so often. A peculiar thing happened recently though. She sent me a text message which was one of those chain mails that I don’t care too much for. She called me later on that night asking if everything was okay because I didn’t respond to the text. Her words were, “well, you didn’t respond to the message I sent you so I was wondering if everything was okay.” I want to get back with her but I’m respecting her space by not calling or texting her unless she does so. Can anyone provide any insight on this? Does it sound like she’s interested in working things out eventually because she does call to make small talk and we didn’t break up on bad terms. She did say she can’t say that she wants the relationship nor can she say that she doesn’t at this point. Is there a chance?

how to cope when your ex-girlfriend broke up with you by cussing and put downs?

It’s been like over a week and from time to time, I still think about missing her and angry from the cussing, name calling, low blows and put downs when she broke up with me. I know it’ll get easier over time, but the verbal abuse got to me somewhat. After she hung up, I never talked back cause i thought, whats the use. Sometimes I felt like I should’ve said something. Any advice on how to cope with this.

Telling your ex-girlfriend you still love her after she broke up with you.?

So I asked a similar question before and got some good answers, but wanted to ask a question from a slightly different angle. Basically, my girlfriend broke up with me recently because she felt we weren’t really right for each other. She found me to be funny, interesting, and did at one point love me, but felt I didn’t really share her views about what it meant to be in a relationship.

She has a lot going on in her life right now. She’s starting a new job, she’s a little ill, the weather is cold (she doesn’t like the cold), and then just the stress about thinking about our relationship the past few weeks (or months). I think she often felt I wasn’t romantic enough and didn’t really care for her when it was actually me holding back because I felt she didn’t want to be smothered. She would often say things like how she had a boyfriend once who always needed to be with her or who was more serious about marriage than she was as reasons for why she ultimately found those guys to be incompatible with her, and she’s very outgoing and sociable and will often mention she enjoys the notion of being in a relationship – having someone to confide in, etc, rather than saying she loved me or something along those lines. She once also said she’s not the type to necessarily fall head over heals for a guy when dating and that boyfriends in the past often struggled with that because they felt she didn’t really seem into the relationship. I misinterpreted this to mean she wanted more space and did not want me to smother her when in fact it turns out she wanted more attention and was sad when I didn’t come closer.

I understand that right now her heart is tired and distant and no longer feels the way it did when we first met, but I feel, if given the opportunity and right timing, maybe I can explain to her where things went wrong and get her back. I’m not saying it will happen overnight, but maybe give her some time to just do her thing and get in touch eventually. The usual answer is to just move on, and I’ve always done that in the past, but this time it feels like I should pursue her, otherwise I’ll regret it for the rest of my life. I’m thinking of meeting her briefly, just to exchange some of each other’s belongings we still have, and to just briefly tell her why I think we got this way and that I would like the chance to win back her heart without making it too uncomfortable for her. I know that’s a tall order, but I think as long as I don’t pressure her or pester her but just meet up whenever she has some time and just try to enjoy each other’s company, maybe I can get her to see why she first fell in love with me. People always say one should not use reason and logic under these circumstances, but I think maybe a certain level of explaining, along with casually meeting up from time to time, will at least allow for the opportunity to see if her heart can be changed.

Anyway, just thought I’d get some thoughts. I already kind of know what kinds of comments to expect, but maybe some out there have some interesting insights into my situation. Thanks!

Could this vivid dream have potential for a story?

It’s set in a future, dystopian, small city near the Adirondacks. Throughout time the world has kept a similar appearance in style to the Greeks and Romans but civilization has advanced in science and order. The Climax (a dance bar/ theater) is where the MC works as an actor. He’s the jealous/temperamental type but quite handsome and talented. He falls for a woman many years older than himself and they have lots of friction in their relationship as she’s divorced with children and a bit of a mystery. They’ve been together for two and a half years. She was married for 16 years and before that had only a few boyfriends. The MC and woman are now engaged.

MC’s playing the role of a senator in a play put on by The Climax who gets murdered for speaking out against an emperor half way through the show. When he takes his seat in the crowd next to his girlfriend during remission, she and a couple behind him are in hushed conversation. The male is an old boyfriend of hers and that means bad news. They try to make nice but the male starts in on the MC’s woman. The MC gets firm with the guy and when he persists they agree to take it outside.

The MC’s woman stays in the theater but the other couple follows the half drunk MC out into the lawn. The MC beats down the guy with some struggle but the guy keeps running his mouth about his woman and to his horror, reveals several things about her that the MC didn’t know. She wasn’t always the conserved, shy, feminine woman he’s known for the passed two years. Sexual secrets start flying from the male’s mouth until finally he reveals that she used to be with women, was a tomboy, and dated some real scumbags. This sends the MC into a frenzy.

The MC re-enters The Climax and gets two huge bottles of liquor and gulps on them out of rage and shock. He then goes into the theater and belts out screams of anger and disgust toward his girlfriend who screams back that he’s crazy, that he’s not a real man! He shoots back at her something like “then go back to your women!” He throws a bottle at her feet and splashes liquor and glass all over her. She’s dumbfounded.

The crowd panics. People begin to rush out of the theater as a gang of drunkards invade the place demanding money and valuables. The Climax is a cesspool of society’s rich and poor, most of them drunk. The MC and woman lose sight of each other and the MC leaves to grab a final drink then exits to her vehicle. As he leaves they catch each others eye in a slow mo moment and exchange looks of anger and resentment.

She meets him at her vehicle and demands the keys. They drive the winding lanes in a vehicle much like the track cars you’d find in a 21st century arcade adhered through the tires. They argue fervidly and she begins to spill the beans. He takes her to a back lane and forces himself on her angrily and savagely. She’s then forced to drive to her ex husband‘s home where they would expose the rest of her lies. The ex welcomes them and reveals the dirty secrets of their lives together to the MC after he threatens the new couple. He explains how she was when they met and how they had women join them in intimacy. The MC and woman exit the exes home and the fact is they can’t bear each other anymore. The MC’s pride and foundation are shattered and so is the woman’s private past revealed. It’s a night they won’t remember because they may not live to see tomorrow.

There would be other characters such as friends and family that would keep it interesting until this all happens. I would probably incorporate a few twists and thrilling events in their lives. Possibly a hero character. But everything’s sort of scrambled yet. This idea came to me in a dream. please don’t rob me of my dreams

How could I improve and expand and where do you suppose it needs work or changes?
I have very vivid dreams, yes it was. Not too happy about it being boring. It was a crazy ride of a dream. Wondering how I could turn it into a novel.
I was thinking that, if I were to add more confict/character plots, I could maybe transform it all into a theatrical musical or something. Seeing how The Climax is pretty central to the story.
lol the other person said it was boring. Who’s pissy?

Applying for disability benefits worth while in my case?

I am wondering how good of a chance I have at qualifying for Disability benefits? I contacted SS and have a telephone appointment next week. Here’s the important background on me. I’m 32 and since I was 24 I was bedridden for several years, mainly house bound and dependant on my first husband. After a 3M internship working in a food product lab I woke up with the intenese pain in my back at 24. Before then I had worked in your average minimum wage jobs while I was a student and did most of my schooling online if the courses were offered online b/c at 19 I started getting pain in my buttocks and hips which made it hard to sit for more than 45min and I was diagnosed with hip bursitis. At 24 I was diagnosed with 2 herniated lumbar discs, Degenerative Disc Disease & Spinal Stenosis. Since than, my pain has been managed and cared for by pain management doctors. I was told I was not a good candidate for any of the standard surgeries that are covered by insurance and not “experimental.” I went on pain medications and various medications to help control muscles, nerve pain and the pain in my back. In 2006 I worked for my first husband from home in bed from my computer. I worked when I could. My first husband founded a 2 person internet company. He developed websites and I worked when I could from home in bed adding content to the websites. Because he was a friend / spouse he let me work when I could and how ever much I could. In 2007 I was formally diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. In 2008 I stopped working F/T for my first husband and we divorced. I remarried and I mainly have been a dependant of my current husband. I got pregnant in Oct 2008 and had a hard pregnancy given I suffer from a chronic pain condition where I have many other health issues that effect how I’m feeling. I been formally diagnosed with TMJ and have a gastro condition that sin getting a colectomy I have to suffer with severe constipation and gastro pain. I carried the pregnancy to term with a lowered dose of medications and without some of the medications that would normally help someone in my condition. My son was born in July of 2009 and my efforts to care for him which only have gotten harder and caring for myself have been enough and I have not worked since except for a few freelance projects for my ex-husband – now and then when I’ve felt well enough. These have all been projects I’ve done laying in bed working on my computer from home. My pain management doctors have not increased my pain medication since the pregnancy b/c they recommended if I want to have a second child that it would be best if I got pregnant soon. We’ve since been TTC and are contiuing with that plan. I made changes and got appropriate education and have a business license to operate a home daycare. My home daycare is finished and yet the past 2M I’ve been in more pain than ever and do not plan on taking any children till my pain flare up subsides. Given this pain flare up is one of my worst and I’ve not left the house but literally a handful of times in the last 2M, I’ve contiplated the idea of disability. I applied one other time shortly after my divorce, but at the time I made too much income. That company and the income was short lived and a very unique work situation. Given now that it’s been 2yrs since I’ve worked and applied for disability, I was thinking I had a better case. I would like some thoughts, suggestions and help from people that have been down this road or have similar situations. Thanks!

Is it possible to be friends after a divorce or break up?

Hi, well this question is not about me but my future parents in law, you see my fiance’s parents got separated when my fiance and his brother were small, then my fiance’s father immigrated to this country, years later my fiance’s mother took my fiance with her and came here too, my fiance’s father helped them out a little and well now my mother in law got a big house a very nice well paid job and they live well with the exception that they are not completely legal here but oh well…anyways so my fiance’s dad lives now on the basement lol, and because he comes home earlier he cooks and stuff for everyone, him and my mother in law have such a great friendship even the new husband and my father in law are good friends and they were friends also back in their home country, so It all seemed weird to me at first but I think I’m becoming used to it and looks like such an amazing thing to me, I mean I wouldn’t be able to be friend of my ex and the most …well bizarre thing is that my in laws still are friends even though my father in law used to chase around my mother in law with a machete when he was drunk ….and other weird stuff, now my father in law is calmed and wayyy nicer according to my bf, but sometimes I feel uneasy around them and scared and my mom keeps making fun of me and sometimes tells me how come I got involve with such ignorant and low life people because they drink a lot my mother in law new husband is 10 years younger than her and they swear like 10 times for each sentence they speak…but hmm my mom is nice to them and stuff and only tells this to me because she says she is scared they might do something to me, but my bf is a very nice guy and yes sometimes he does act like this closed minded hard headed people but oh well he is not like his family, he doesn’t drink or smoke and has never cheated on me and respects women a lot, so I love him, oh well I suddenly went off topic lol, so what do you think? Is being friends with your ex even possible? Thank You.